I don't really know where to start with this post, but so many of you ask or make comments about my marriage I figured I would answer some of the questions I get regularly. I am also a little afraid that some of you are not going to like my answers or views, but here it goes anyways. Mark and I met in high school and were relatively really good friends. We didn't actually go out on a date till literally the last week of our senior year. We were just really good friends. We dated for 3 years before we got married at the ripe age of 21!!! I think a huge portion of our marriage is spent laughing... this was not the case though for the 1st year after we had our 1st son, but eventually we got back in to the swing of things:)
I am kind of old school in the sense that during the week I prepare the meals, take care of the kids, do all the laundry, and clean the house. (I have to be honest I have a house cleaner come once a month as well to to deep clean because honestly I just don't have time) On the weekends though if we don't go out he does the cooking because quite frankly he is amazing at cooking and loves it--he just doesn't have time with his job during the week. Most of the time when I have weddings, and am gone all day he then also runs the show. You have to remember this is what works for us, however I am a firm believer in since he goes to work all day I should have a meal (most the time) waiting for him and want him to come home to a clean and tidy house where he can relax. Again I realize some of you will disagree with this logic, and I am not saying this is the only way.
He is my priority even over the kids. In pretty much every aspect of my life I put him 1st. If we have not had a lot of time together, but all my girlfriends are going out I will purposely choose to stay home and hang out with him. (not at all because he is making me, but because I want to) After we had our 1st baby I did NOT put him 1st and our marriage suffered. Luckily for me I snapped out of that real quick, and put him back in the number 1 spot. Of course I love my kids with all my heart, but it is a different love for your spouse. If they were to ask I would say I love their father more than them because that is the way I believe it is suppose to be. I look forward to the days when it will just be us again, and we get to travel etc. I don't want our kids to grow up, and us not know each other. Another thing that has helped us tremendously is to always go on dates. I don't care if it is out to dinner or the grocery store--as long as we are alone and talking, holding hands, & laughing we do better in the long run. Does life get in the way of this--Yes of course it does, but we just start over with trying to make it a priority again.
I remember at my bridal shower all the ladies filling out advice cards, and to this day only 1 sticks out to me. She was probably well in to her 60's at the time, and all she wrote was "Never say No when he asks"". I remember at the time thinking "did she really just tell me this", but I get it now. I have so many friends that brag about never sleeping with their husbands, which honestly shocks me considering men don't require much, but they do require this! There is no other way to get that deeper connection. So go have fun you might surprise yourself!
The wonderful world of social media sometimes makes it look like everything is perfect. I would like to tell you that we never go to bed mad, but we do. I don't think we should, but sometimes it takes a few days for us to work through something. Sometimes I literally just want to smack the S*#@ out of him. We fight just like every other couple. Sometimes there are periods when we fight a lot, but as long as you come out on the other side with in a couple days--it is all about how you rebound! Marriage is a choice you have to be willing to work at every single day. It doesn't just happen. The reward is so amazing isn't it worth it though?
Now to the question that I find funny, but I get asked quite often about as well...
Do either of our family's have an issue with us being 2 different races? The answer is no. I guess we both lucked out, but nobody in either of our family's has an issue with this...not even our grandparents. In fact my Grandma might love my husband more than me.
I tried to answer the most common questions, but if your dying to know something else I am sure you will let me know:)